Middle House Review
Diana Raab "Father's Obsessions"
Father’s Obsessions
Diner breakfasts with their dime juke boxes,
one-hour coughing spells after half-smoked cigarettes,
thinly layered on pumpernickel cream cheese,
runny cherry pie, its two full scoops
of vanilla ice cream, not far from
his bright pink Chevrolet that matched
the cherry blossom tree on our front lawn,
paired with house shingles on our
two-story suburban home, the one he painted
the year I was born—
and all this painted on my genetics, even
his mother’s recipes passed down, how
each time I eat fish filets, his face
bursts before me, the smell of bagel stores, my
youth remembrances like the strongest memory
of his mother’s kitchen’s vanilla pudding
with film, his sweet disgust
for vegetables except for beets
shredded in homemade borscht soup, its
dollop of sour cream in the middle
like a kiss, or potato salad, creamy, finely mashed
potatoes, no chunks but for a day’s chopped liver
weighted with onions floating
in butter filet of sole before the evening’s
news in bed, that large sixteen-inch tele
and its loving color, what doesn’t
matter anymore for his daughter...
So happy he was, to have a daughter,
she who now, sixty years later serves her own
family cherry pie topped with organic
vanilla ice cream— the memory of
our drive, Sunday morning, for hot bagels,
cheese pastries, and the afternoon Ranger games
always followed by those weekly lottery tickets
he swore would change his life forever.
Then he died,
his contagious smile, gratitude-glowing
green eyes for the small things ––
where my memory of him,
carved into a cancerous landscape,
nearly kills me as five years
in Dachau could have done the same
to him––yes, my father, the first man
I ever loved, and who reminds me
why we are hungry.
Bio: Diana Raab, PhD is a poet, memoirist, blogger, and award-winning author of ten books, including four poetry collections, including her latest, Lust. She blogs for Psychology Today, The Wisdom Daily, Thrive Global and many others. Her most recent nonfiction book is Writing for Bliss. She teaches workshops on writing for healing and transformation. Her poetry chapbook, “An Imaginary Affair,” is forthcoming by Finishing Line Press (2022). Visit: dianaraab.com